Friday, December 10, 2010

Motor Cortex for Sale (as is)

The motor cortex is the part of the brain responsible for movement. When you go to sleep, the motor cortex is inactive so that you can dream about doing stuff without physically doing it. When you wake up, the motor cortex becomes active and your body again responds to directions.

My brain did not get this memo.

Occasionally I wake up before my motor cortex becomes active. The result is that I’m awake but paralyzed for several seconds (called sleep paralysis). It’s extremely unpleasant.

The other side of this is that sometimes my motor cortex is active when it shouldn’t be. Last night, for example. I had a dream that some villains at the local Ford/Mercury dealer stole my truck (I don’t have a truck, but maybe this is a sign?). I was on a mission to get my truck back, and I had to lay waste to a bunch of guys in the process. Only the recipient of my awesome karate kicks turned out to be my sleeping wife—and not for the first time.

Brains are cool, and mine has proven pretty useful. This is not to say I don’t have any complaints about mine. And I’m pretty sure Deb would prefer my vengeful swath of destruction remain isolated to my brain.

Friday, December 3, 2010

I lied to my shins

I have been doing a little jogging in the morning, and it hurts. My knees hurt, my shins hurt, and my feet hurt. I have had the same pair of running shoes for a while, so I just bought a new pair of Asics Nimbus shoes to reduce the pain.

Apparently 250 pounds X 2 miles just does not lend itself to the feeling of running on clouds.