Wednesday, March 2, 2011

my fancy blog

Allow me to introduce you to an extremely useful phrase: “That sounds fancy.” Here are a few situations where it comes in handy:

• A student is telling you about her future plans to A) be a forensic psychologist for the FBI, B) start a charity to rescue animals, and C) be a TV newscaster. “That sounds fancy” is the perfect response.

• Your mind wanders while someone is talking to you. Suddenly you realize it’s time for you to say something. “That sounds fancy” never fails.

• Somebody is opening up about an abusive relationship with a parental figure, and you are searching for the right words to comfort and bewilder them. “That sounds fancy” to the rescue.

phone rant 2

Telemarketers are annoying. This is not breaking news. I understand people not wanting to talk to telemarketers. What I don’t understand is the small group of people who pay for a product that informs every person who calls: “You have reached a number that does not accept solicitations. If you are a solicitor...”

Here’s their logic: “I don’t like to be annoyed by irrelevant phone calls. Therefore, I’ll make EVERY PERSON WHO CALLS ME LISTEN TO AN IRRELEVANT MESSAGE, rather than put my number on the free do-not-call list.”

Someone should call these people and sell them a how-to book about not sucking.